you guys were way drunker than both of me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I showed him my bush... on skype.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
