It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
