that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize