for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
