Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
