i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
