after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
