i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
