I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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