Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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