so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
