Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
