That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
