If that was your dad, he is hot
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
