feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
