I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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