I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
