She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm going to jail i love you
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
