no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize