it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
