I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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