the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
