hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
