did you get engaged???
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize