I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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