scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
