I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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