her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
