he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize