i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
