How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
