Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
