dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
