i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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