All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
