Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
