Nicole vs. Life
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
porn star boner night. come get it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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