shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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