So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
