he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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