I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
