You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize