I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
