I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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