And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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