I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
