I puked a lego.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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