I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
