she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
