cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
