I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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