I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
its not stalking. its research.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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