matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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