my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize