Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
