I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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