I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
