if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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