So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
