new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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